ILikeYourWigJanice

I don't talk trash; I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical like 'Your Mama's so fat she could eat the internet' but smack talk is happening like right now, like you're ugly and I know it for a fact cause I got the evidence right there. -Kelly Kapoor

34 notes

Can we discuss a brief excerpt from my monthly horoscope?

With four highly fertile planets in your fifth house of pregnancy and birth, you have the single best month of the year to try for conception or, if you are pregnant (or your partner is) and near term, to welcome a baby into your family.

This, along with certain BC pills being recalled is a sign from the gods that I should avoid booty all month long. 

27 notes

Re: Last night’s Bachelor

*spoilers*

Ben, as if I could hate you more.  I considered bribing our Bachelor tourney host to let me put Jennifer in my top 4.  She was the sweetest and most NORMAL girl I think I’ve ever seen on the show.  And you go and kick her off.  Damn you to hell.   

However, you solidified my choice for winner, as you’re obviously only thinking with your little head.  I hope you take a hair straightener to that one as well.  I hate you, I hate you, and I hate that I care this much about this stupid show. 

I’m embarrassed for this post.

Also, do you think they only drink Ben’s wine on the show?  Things to consider.

14 notes

Today in real emails…
I’ve seen enough 48 hours, I know what life insurance does to a couple

Today in real emails…

I’ve seen enough 48 hours, I know what life insurance does to a couple

23 notes

This weekend was for come-to-jesus talks about priorities

See…we were met with some unexpected financial news.  Ever since I graduated from college, I’ve been sending my parents money every month to tuck away in savings.  Perhaps for a car, perhaps for a wedding, or perhaps for a down payment on a house.  Enter lots of frustrated and angry tears when we found out that ol’ GB surgery ate up ALL of it, and then some.  Yep, 5 years of savings down the tube because of shitty insurance and a shitty unexpected surgery.  (No but really.  I’ll stay off of my health care soapbox, but if you pay for insurance, minor surgery shouldn’t fucking cost you 6k + out of pocket.)

So we sat down and looked at our monthly expenses and what I could save in time for my half of the down-payment.  And we were met with a lot of hard decisions.  Anniversary trip?  Out.  Out of state weddings?  Out.  Expensive date nights?  Out.  Beach trips this summer?  Out. 

We’re trying to stay positive, and focus on the end goal.  In 5 years, what will matter more?  I’m thankful that both of us are on the same page, that this house is our #1 priority.  And that I’ll have Alex to re-focus me on the big picture when I’m grumpy that I can’t buy fun new clothes this spring/summer.

Sigh.  It’s not going to be a fun spring and summer.  But in the end I hope it will all be worth it! 

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